...
Sense of
betrayal rejected the man who was sitting in front of me. Attractiveness became
solely abstention. There was no way that could bring me again into that fluent
dance-experience where you feel constant guidance which pushes you forward. The
driving energy was cut off from the organic feeling of our dance. Louking and I
were unable to handle the contra weights of our relation. It kept us stuck into
ideals and convictions that didn’t go along with any of the directions that we
indicated. We became even blind for it. Spiraling movement became a downtime. We
lost connection with the heart of our friendship. We lost the sky in our
limiting beliefs which were seen as the ultimate truth and nothing than the
truth.
Last supper
was served. It was a moment which consciousness had chosen to become aware of
the truth namely the illusion that kept me separated. This time it would be an awareness
that would rise from my own being without Louking by my side.
That same evening I left to my parental home in order to obtain clarity. Fear surrounded me in the soul of the black night. Thousands of questions arose on the horizon. It stayed silent. Despair clung very heavy to the primordial substance, so severely that only surrender could liberate me.
That same evening I left to my parental home in order to obtain clarity. Fear surrounded me in the soul of the black night. Thousands of questions arose on the horizon. It stayed silent. Despair clung very heavy to the primordial substance, so severely that only surrender could liberate me.
And so I did.
Diary Jasmine:
It was like all these years with Louking were merged into a higher power that freed me from attachments so that I could let go.
At dawn my being was cleansed and baptized with all colors that were united within.
At sunrise the complete unification became clear. My eyes opened, my feet went downstairs. They walked to the living room where my hand took the phone and dialed Louking's number. His voice at the other side listened to the soul that told him that it would never return to him.
…
I left with
one suitcase. Some clothes, books, my writings and my diary Jasmine were
inside.
All other things were left behind.
It was never regretted the fourteen
years of intense suffering were left aside.
...
Instruments for the soul during the dark night
Every step, move you make is energetically directed. Be aware of it.
Move from your center. Stay grounded from your movement.
Stay focused to maintain your energy.
Stay close to your heart when you perceive.
Know that you can always free yourself from obstacles.
Be aware of every movement so you can capture unexpected events.
Know that one finger can move someone. Have faith in the power that is present in yourself.
Turn off your thoughts so that you can be guided from a higher power.
It is known that this may open the disheartened,
the abused, the depressed and repressed soul.
May it spread peace, love and awareness to all.
May it guide to and with divine love.
May it protect with the all seeing eye being justice for all.
May it reveal the beloved in the heart that is kept alive with the breath we share.
In loving kindness for all.
Hildegarde Lisa
